Corporlish™ [kawr-per-lish] – noun
1) The language of, for, spoken, emailed in, written in, belonging or taught in corporations reiterated by business professionals in their everyday lives.
2) The language that is spoken in corporate world that often takes over our everyday life.
3) The art of being subtle with bad news, insults, or condescending remarks.
1) Sugar coating
2) Being indirect
3) Being politically correct
Corporlish™ was founded in June 2009 by a drunken corporate slave after a long session of happy hour for reasons that probably included: venting about managers, passive aggressive behavior, being underpaid, office politics, water cooler gossips, morning cups of coffee, awkward corporate gathering, fake smiles, countless hours of surfing on the internet on company time, fornicating with co-workers, being politically correct, spreadsheets, documents, file cabinets, non-smoking policies, overweight employees, awkward departmental birthday cake gathering, policies and procedures, AND bullsh*t that spills into our personal life.
Our goal was to create a site that revealed the absurd behavior of business professionals and everyone in our lives that lets their professional life spill into their personal lives. However, we don’t want anyone getting fired for their post, but we DO want you to know you are not alone in your dead-end job. Therefore, we ask that you don’t include full names (i.e., first and last name) and only first names and job titles. Furthermore, please refrain from mentioning the company you work for in your interpretation.
Users quote an e-mail, statement, or conversation between someone and interpret the true, or perceived, meaning behind it with CORPORLISH™ TRANSLATION between the quote and interpretation. The post could have happened in your professional or personal life. We reserve the right to post portions of the interpretation without duplicating the entire thing. It’s not because the entire thing isn’t funny, but the funniest interpretation are those we can all relate to, so without the context of the interpretation, they become really funny. In addition, we’re like your managers…douche bags. LOL.
We don’t want interpretations that are offensive to the point of being viciously personal, racist, containing excessive profanity, violent or excessively graphic in nature. We reserve the right to post what we feel is appropriate because we can like your manager.
If your interpretation isn’t published, not all is lost. We might publish it in our e-book.
Welcome to Corporlish.com™ and come to work with a smile!
Aphorism Entertainment, LLC
Our Cubicle Neighbors:
These are the bastards who run and own the site. If you have an issue with anything, they’re the one who will be responding and might do something about it like that lazy guy at work.
If you love or hate the design of Corporlish™, thank BigWig Monster Media or throw them under the bus.
These fantastic people are the ones that are most likely to go postal at the office like that quiet guy in the office who just works and keeps to himself except they know how to fight.
This is the guy who taught the quiet guy that’s likely to go postal how to fight.
Frequently Asked Questions
?: Why hasn’t my post been posted?
a) We want the Web Site to contain an array of different posts that covers multiple and diverse professions/industries, so we select a certain amount of Corporlish™ translation a day that are concise, fresh, conceivable and funny.
b) We seen a similar post and would like to keep the Web Site with original posts.
c) We thought it was lame.
?: Some of these posts/comments are F*CKED UP?!?!
?: Big Brother blocked Corporlish at my work. WTF?!?!
Well, that sucks and we can’t believe that they expect you to work while at work. That’s pretty lame and another reason to get a Smartphone with unlimited data usage. You could subscribe to our RSS on your phone.
?: What do I do if I think I found a bug?
Shoot us an e-mail using the following address: email@example.com
a) Browser using,
b) Operating system, and
c) Describe the bug with as much detail as possible.
We are consistently trying to improve the Web Site, so any help would be greatly appreciated.
?: I want to advertise on Corporlish. What are the rates and who do I contact?
?: How do I get a hold of you pricks?
You could get a hold of us regarding the Web Site: firstname.lastname@example.org. We appreciate any compliments or constructive criticism. We will try to respond to each e-mail but nothing is guaranteed like your year-end promotion.